Jack's David & Leigh Eddings Page

Quotations


Here you'll find some of the most popular quotes from Eddings' books. Some of these were added by me but most of them are contributions from other devoted Eddings fans. Thank you for your help!


2025-08-03: This page wasn't working for a long time. I've resurrected the content of this page using backups at www.archive.org.



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Funny
Chapter 5

"Tynian told Aphreal that Khwaj has his own plans for our Styric friend. He wants to set him on fire."
"I've got some more interesting ideas," Vanion said grimly.
"I wouldn't be so sure, my Lord. Khwaj wants to se Zalasta on fire, but he doesn't want him to burn to death. He's talking about an eternal flame - with Zalasta burning in the middle of it - forever."
Vanion considered that. "What a merry idea," he said finally.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Richard Cowan
2002-05-31


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Funny
Chapter 5

Tynian Laughed. "You did it to yourself then, Sparhawk," he said
"Did What?"
"You made a woman of steel, and now she's going to force you to marry her - and she's strong enough to get away with it"
"Tynian," said Sparhawk acidly, "You talk too much"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Richard Cowan
2002-05-31


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Funny
Chapter 10

"You killed him?" Garion asked in a shocked voice.
"Of course I didn't kill him. All I did was run him through the leg - just a little bit."
"How can you run somebody through just a little bit, Lelldorin?" Garion demanded of his friend in exasperation.

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Vella
2002-05-17


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Funny

Hettar rejoined them, his expression one of grim satisfaction.
'You did a nice job on Nachak,' Barak complimented him.
'I've had a lot of practice,' Hettar answered. 'Murgos always seem to make that same mistake when they get into a fight. I think there's a gap in their training somewhere.'
'That's a shame, isn't it?' Barak suggested with vast insincerity.

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Danae
2002-02-20


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Funny
Chapter 35

Leitha and Althalus:
'Do men ever grow up?' she asked.
'Not if we can avoid it, no.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jakob Persson
2002-01-19


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Wisdom

"Now there's something for you to think about. If you don't know that you you can't do something, isn't there a remote possibility that you'll go ahead and do it anyway in absolute defiance of physical law? That might be one of the drawbacks of education. If you don't know that you can't pick yourself up by the scruff of the neck and hold yourself at arm's length, maybe you can.
I wonder if I could get Mandorallen to try that."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
*mystery*chick*
2002-01-10


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Funny
Chapter 31

"To His Majesty, Taur Urgas of Murgodom," it began.
"I was unamused by your recent attempt to influence Malloreon internal affairs, you Murgo dog. Were it not for current world conditions, I would bring the entire weight of my empire down upon your head for your offense.
"To insure that there will be no reocurrence of this affair, I have taken all Murgos within my boundaries into custody to serve as hostages to you continued good behavior. I am advised that several of these internees are closely related to you. Should you investigate any further asventures in my realm, I shall return you kinsman to you-piece by piece.
"In the past, you madness has filled you world with imagined enemies. Rejoice Taur Urgas, put aside you insanity, for you now have a real foe, for more deadly than any of the phantoms of you lunacy. You may be assured that as soon as world conditions permit, I will descend on you and that stinking wasteland you rule. It is my firm intention to destroy and you entire vile race. It will be my pleasure to exterminate every last Murgo from the face of the world and to expunge every mention of your people from record of human history.
"Keep a watchful eye over you shoulder, you madman, for as surely as the sun rises tomorrow, one day I will be there to admister the punishment you so richly deserve.
"Zakath"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
The_Opresser
2002-01-08


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Disgusting
Chapter 21

'You keep talking about Torak's father,' Zakath said, looking puzzled.'I didn't know that the Gods had fathers'.
'Of course They do,' Ce'Nedra said lofity. 'Everybody knows that.'
'I didn't.'
'UL is their father,' she said in a deliberate off-hand manner.
'isn't He the God of the Ulgos?'
'Not by chance exactly,' Belgarath told him. 'The original Gorim more or less bullied Him into it.'
'How do you bully a God?'
'Carefully,' said Beldin. 'Very, very carefully.'
'I've met UL,' Ce'Nedra supplied gratuitously. 'He sort of likes me.'
'She can be very irritating at times, can't she?' Zakath said to Garion.'
'You've noticed.'
'You don't have to like me,' she said with a toss of her curls, 'either one of you. As long as the Gods like a girl she'll do all right'

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Garath
2001-12-08


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Funny

The first disharmonic phrases of the ancient hymn to UL drifted up to them as they neared the other end of the bridge.
"I wish they'd find another tune," Barak muttered sourly. "This one's starting to get on my nerves."
"I'll mention that to the first Ulgo I meet," Silk told him lightly. "I'm sure they'll be only too glad to change songs for you."
"Very funny," Barak said.
"It probably hasn't occured to them that their song isn't universally admired."
"Do you mind?" Barak asked acidly.
"They've only been singing it for five thousand years now."
"That'll do, Silk," Aunt Pol told the little man.
"Anything you say, great lady," Silk answered mockingly.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Arlo Hill
2001-09-29


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Funny

I've worn 'Belgarath' for almost seven thousand years, Zakath, and I've sort of rubbed off the rough edges and corners. Garion's only been wearing his 'Bel' for a dozen years and it still squeaks when he tuns around to quickly.

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Sarrasi
2001-09-29


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Funny

I touched my hand to my beloved's pale forehead and murmured, "Sleep." And he did that. Then I gathered my Will and shrunk him.

That's a clumsy way to put it, I know, but it is fairly precise.

When the process was complete, my champion resembled a small figurine about six inches tall, and he weighed no more than a few ounces. I held him in my hand for a moment, and then I shrugged, wrapping him in my handkerchief, and tucked him in my bodice to keep him safe.

Don't even think about saying something clever! And I mean it!

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
JJ
2001-09-29


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Ironic

Wisdom eventually comes to all of us. Someday it might even be your turn.

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
The Grand Bard Myrmidoni
2001-09-29


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Funny

The room was lined with many shelves where book and scrolls were stored, and there were lambskin rugs here and there on the polished stone floor. Exarch Yeudon was a thin, almost emacaciated man in a coweled white robe. He had silvery hair and a deeply lined face that wore a slightly amused expression. "What took you so long,Scopas Bheid?" he asked with a faint smile.
"Have we met before, your eminence?" Bheid asked.
"Not personally, scopas, but I've been receiving progress reports - somewhat hysterical ones, actually - ever since you came into the temple. I was about half expecting you to kick down my door."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Althulus
2001-09-26


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Funny

'I wonder where we'll be when winter comes,' Garion said rather plaintively.
'I wouldn't do that,' Silk advised, 'Thinking about it isn't going to help, and it's only going to serve to make you nervous.'
'Nervouser,' Garion corrected, 'I'm already nervous.'
'Is there such a word as nervouser?' Silk asked Belgarath curiously.
'There is now,' Belgarath replied 'Garion just invented it,'
'I wish I could invent a word,' Silk said to Garion admiringly, his ferret like eyes gleaming mischieviously.
'Please don't poke fun at me, Silk, I'm having enough trouble as it is.'
'Let's get some sleep,' Belgarath suggested, 'This conversation isn't going anywhere and we've got a long way to ride tomorrow.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Michelle Landers
2001-09-23


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Sarcasm
Chapter 5

Silk, his eyes alight with mischief, rode at her [Ce'Nedra] side on the sunny midmorning of the last day of their journey from Mal Gemila. "Beware, you Majesty," he warned her slyly as they neared the crest of a hillside sheathed in pale spring grass so verdant that it almost looked like a filmy green mist. "The first sight of Mal Zeth has sometimes struck the unwary traveler blind. To be safe, why don't you cover one eye with your hand? That way you can preserve at least partial sight.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Sarrasi
2001-09-17


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Sarcasm

"'Ce'Nedra!' he exclaimed, jumping out of bed to follow her. 'What are you doing?' "
'I'm throwing up,' she replied, raising her pale face from the basin she was holding on her knees.
'Are you sick?'
'No,' she drawled sarcastically. 'I'm doing this for fun."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Grand Bard Myrmidoni
2001-09-17


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Funny
Chapter 23

'We call her the Rivan Queen, my dear Anheg,'
King Rhodar replied urbanely. 'And we break the head of any man who refuses to bow to her.'
'You can count on that,' Anheg scowled. 'If I bow to her, everybody's going to bow to her.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
2001-09-17


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Funny
Chapter 23

Ce'Nedra, however, was staring disapprovingly at the breastplate Delban had made for her. It would quite obviously fit ' too well. 'Didn't you forget something?' she asked him.
He picked the breastplate up in his big hands and examined it.
'It's all there,' he told her. 'Front, back, all the straps to hook them together. What else did you want?'
'Isn't it a trifle ' understated?' Ce'Nedra suggested delicately.
'It's made to fit,' he replied. 'The understatement isn't my fault.'
'I want it a little more '' She made a curving gesture with her hands.
'What for?'
'Never mind what for. Just do it.'
'What do you plan to put in it?'
'That's my business. Just do it the way I told you to.'
He tossed a heavy hammer down on his anvil. 'Do it yourself,' he told her bluntly. 'Please, Delban,' she wheedled.
'It's foolishness, he told her, his face set.
'It's important,' she coaxed. 'If I wear it like that, I'll look like a little boy. When people see me, they have to know that I'm a woman. It's terribly, terribly important. Couldn't you ' well ' just a little bit?' She cupped her hands slightly.
Delban gave up. 'Oh, all right, ' he growled, picking up his hammer. 'Anything to get you out of my shop ' but not clear out to here.' He made an exaggerated gesture.
'I'll depend on your good taste, Delban.' She smiled.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
2001-09-17


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Funny
Chapter 20

About noon, silk shook himself and looked around, his eyes finally alert, though still a bit bloodshot. 'Did anybody think to bring something to drink?' he asked.
'Didn't you get enough last night?' Belgarath replied. '
That was for entertainment. What I need now is something therapeutic.'
'Water?' Garion suggested.
'I'm thirsty, Garion, not dirty.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
2001-09-17


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Funny
Chapter 16

'What do you think I ought to do?' he asked.
"Don't try to play politics with these people.' Barak replied. 'Grodeg's here to conduct the official betrothal ceremony. Just let it go at that.'
'He'll try to talk to me, though,' Garion fretted. 'He's going to try to make me lead an invasion of the southern kingdoms so that he can convert the Arends and Tolnedrans and Nyissans to the worship of Belar.'
'Where did you hear that?' Silk asked curiously. 'I'd rather not say,' Garion evaded.
'Does Belgarath know?' Garion nodded. 'Aunt Pol told him.'
Silk chewed thoughtfully on a fingernail. 'Just be stupid,' he said finally.
'What?'
'Pretend to be a simple country bumpkin with no idea of what's going on. Grodeg's going to do everything he can to get you alone so he can wring concessions out of you. Just keep smiling and nodding foolishly, and every time he makes a proposal, send for Belgarath. Let him think that you can't make a single decision on your own.'
'Won't that make me seem ---- well ----?'
'Do you really care what he thinks?'
'Well, not really, I guess, but ----'
'It will drive him crazy,' Barak pointed out with a wicked grin. 'He'll think that you're a complete idiot ' a ripe plum ready for picking. But he'll realize that if he wants you, he'll have to fight Belgarath to get you, He'll be tearing out his beard in frustration before he leaves.'
He turned and looked admiringly at Silk. 'That's really a terrible thing to do to a man like Grodeg, you know.'
Silk smirked. 'Isn't it though?'
The three of them stood grinning at each other and finally burst into laughter.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Mari B
2001-09-17


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Funny

Rebal struck an exaggerated pose and raised both arms over his head. He began to speak, intoning guttural words in a hollow, booming voice.
"Is that Styric?" Kalten whispered to Sephrenia. "It doesn't sound like Styric to me."
"It's gibberish," she replied scornfully.
Kalten frowned. "I don't think I've heard of them," he whispered. "What part of the world do the Gibbers come from?"
She stared at him, her face baffled.
"Did I say it wrong?", he asked. "Are they called the Gibberese, or maybe the Gibberenians? - the people who speak Gibberish, I mean."
"Oh, Kalten," she laughed softly, "I love you."
"What did I say?"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Gemini
2001-09-17


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Funny

"...Liselle's fairly well trained, and she's probably got two or three daggers hidden in various places." He [Belgarath] grinned slyly.
"I'd imagine Silk could tell you where they are," he added.
"Father!" Polgara gasped.
"You mean you didn't know, Pol? My goodness how unobservant of you."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Alli
2001-09-17


Category:
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Sarcasm

"Silk!" Garion exclaimed, catching the little man's arm in relief.
"What was that?" Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner.
"Brill," Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on.
"/Again?/" Belgarath demanded with exasperation. "What was he doing this time?"
"Trying to fly, last time I saw him." Silk smirked.
The old man looked puzzled.
"He wasn't doing it very well," Silk added.
Belgarath shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to him in time."
"He doesn't really have all that much time." Silk glanced out over the edge.
From far below - terribly far below - there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. "Does bouncing count?" Silk asked.
Belgarath made a wry face. "Not really."
"Then I'd say he didn't learn in time," Silk said blithely.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jakob Persson
2001-09-17


Category:
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Ridiculous
Chapter 36

Torak himself made the journey in a silly-looking iron castle, complete with useless towers and ostentatious battlements. It had wheels on it, but it still took a herd of horses and about a thousands of grolims to pull it. I shudder to think about the amount of labour it took to clear a road through the forests of Gar og Nadrak for that ridiculous thing.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jakob Persson
2001-09-17


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Disgusting

One Rendor, quite skinny and waving a rusty sabre, stood howling before the man on black armor bearing down on him. Sparhawk altered his swing slightly and sheared the man almost in two at the waist. The Rendor was hurled against the battlement by the force blow and the remaining shred of flesh ripped as the upper torso toppled outwards. The man's lower half caught up on one of the battlements, the legs threshing wildly. The Rendor's upper torso did not quite reach the ground below, but hung head downwards from a long rope of purple bowel that steamed in the cool night air.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jakob Persson
2001-09-17


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Wisdom

"Sparhawk nodded'...Are you cosmopolitan enough to accept the notion that the Styrics have some very unusual capabilities?'
Fontan smiled faintly. 'Prince Sparhawk, a man my age is willing to accept almost anything. After the initial shock of astonishment that comes each morning when I wake up and discover that I'm still alive, I can face the day with an open mind.'"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Amanda
2001-06-25


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Funny

'I love wearing armor in mosquito country,' Kalten said gaily. 'I have this picture of hordes of theh little bloodsuckers sitting around with teeny little hammers trying to pound their beaks straight again.'

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Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Amanda
2001-06-25


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Funny
Chapter 17

"That wouldn't be very prudent," Belgarath disagreed, "Not with Anheg's fleet scouring the Gulf of Cherek looking for us."
"You don't know that they're looking for us," Silk said quickly.
"I know Polgara," Belgarath answered.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Katie
2001-05-30


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Funny

"You might as well do what she says, Javelin," Silk advised. She is going to mother you weather you like it or not."
"That will do," Porenn said.
"But you will, Auntie. You're known far and wide as the little Mother of Drasnia."
"I said, that will do."
"Yes, mother."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Michael
2001-05-09


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Funny

"I find thy form ape-like and misshapen. Furthermore, the beard that doth cover your face looks like something that should cover the back end of a scaborous mongrel. Pray, tell, didst thine mother, in some wild fit of lechery, did dally with a randy goat?"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Matt Hazeltine
2001-05-08


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Funny

"That's very shaky moral ground, Kalten," Bevier said disapprovingly.
"I know," Kalten admitted. "That's why you have to run across the top of it so fast."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
James McConnell
2001-05-02


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Funny

Belgarath: 'What now?'
Necessity: 'Pick up one foot and put it in front of the other. I'll let you decide which foot. Don't try to pick them both up at the same tome though.'
Belgarath: 'Very funny.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Celeste Gregory
2001-01-10


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Funny

Watch your mouth Talen!" said Kurik.
"I can't Kurik, my nose gets in the way."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Pyxie
2000-03-03


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Funny

"Maybe a trip to Naween would sort Dolmant out" Sparhawk chuckled."
Sephrenia tried to stifle a giggle as Dolmant replied, "Naween? I'm sure I would love to meet her."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Chris
2000-01-29


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Wisdom

Garion: 'I think you need some sleep.'
Zakath: 'I don't sleep much, Belgarion. A man can lose a third of his life in sleep. The daytime is full of bright lights and distractions. The night is quieter and allows for much greater concentration.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
vpix
2000-01-18


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Funny

"Look, Col," Senga explained patiently, "when I came here before, I only had one cartload of beer. I could get any price I asked, because my beer was so scarce."
"I guess that makes sense."
"I've got an almost unlimited supply now, though, so I'm making my profit on volume instead of price."
"That's what doesn't make sense."
"Let me put it this way. Which would you rather do-- steal ten crowns from one man or a penny from each of ten thousand men?"
Kalten did some quick counting on his fingers. "Oh," he said. "Now I see what you're driving at."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Nicole
2000-01-05


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Funny

Kalten: 'So many good ideas have to be discarded simply because they won't work.'

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Nicole
2000-01-05


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Funny
Chapter 7

" I was reading an old text on the exploits of Belgarath the Sorcerer, and I -"
Senji stopped, going very pale, turned and gaped at Garion's grandfather.
"It's a terrible letdown, isn't it?" Beldin said. "We always told him he ought to look more impressive"
"You're in no position to talk," the old man said.
"You're the one with the earthshaking reputation." Beldin shrugged. "I'm just a flunky. I'm along for comic relief"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Lisa Robertson
1999-11-30


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Funny

"Blow in her ear," Ulath said.
"What was that?" Sparhawk asked.
"It usually works," Ulath said. "At least it does in Thalesia. I blew in a girl's ear in Emsat once, and she followed me around for days."
"That's disgusting!" Sephrenia said angrily.
"Oh I don't know," Ulath said mildly. "She seemed to enjoy it."
"Did you pat her on top of the head too, and scratch her chin - the way you'd have done if she'd been a puppy?"
"I never thought of that," Ulath admitted. "Do you think it might have worked?"
She began to swear at him in Styric.

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Weng Foo Ong
1999-09-29


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Funny

"All right then," Vanion said, "Let's get started, gentlemen. We have a number of friendly patriarchs to round up, and Kalten, I want you to start practising forgery. The names you'll be substituting on those arrest warrants will have to be in the handwriting of the Earl of Lenda." He paused thoughtfully, looking at his blond subordinate. "You'd better take Sparhawk with you," he added.
"I can manage, My Lord."
Vanion shook his head. "No Kalten," he disagreed. "I don't think so. I've seen your attempts at spelling before."
"Bad?" Darellon asked him.
"Terrible my friend. Once he wrote down a six-letter word and he didn't manage to get a single letter right."
"Some words are difficult to spell Vanion."
"His own name?"

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Weng Foo Ong
1999-09-29


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Funny
Chapter 22

Kurik laughed a bit ruefully. "I should have remembered that," he said.
"Remembered what?" Talen asked him.
"Rotten logs and the like glow in the dark sometimes."
"I didn't know that."
"You've spent too much time in cities, Talen."
"You have to go where your customers are." The boy shrugged. "You don't make much profit swindling frogs."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jax
1999-09-09


Category:
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Sarcasm
Chapter 22

"What are we supposed to do?" Kalten asked her.
"It's really quite simple, Kalten," Ulath said. "You watch Tynian very closely. As soon as he begins behaving like a butterfly, tell Sparhawk about it. I'll watch you for signs of froggishness. Just as soon as you start trying to catch flies with your tongue, I'll know that you're starting to lose your grip on things."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jax
1999-09-09


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Funny
Chapter 22

"Ulath?" he said suspiciously.
"Yes Kalten?"
"In all the time we've been travelling together, I haven't seen you cook more than once or twice."
"No, you probably haven't."
"When does your turn come?"
"It doesn't. My job is to keep track of whose turn it is. You wouldn't really expect me to do that and cook, too, would you? Fair is fair, after all."
"Who appointed you?"
"I volunteered. Church Knights are supposed to do that when unpleasant tasks come up. That's one of the reasons people respect us so much."

Submitted by:
Date (yyyy-mm-dd):
Jax
1999-09-09






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Last updated September 30th 2001


Note: Books, covers, book titles etc. are copyrighted either by David & Leigh Eddings and/or by their publishers.

Copyright © Jakob Persson 1997-2001